


Our own Miracle

by MusicalMassasinsXxx



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, MAAS Sarah J. - Works
Genre: 10 years later, Canon, Canon Compliant, Family, Fluff, Fluffy Smut, Love, Mates, Mating Bond, Multi, Promises, Smut, Smuttish, Spoilers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, acosf, brief angst, happiness, if you squint you see it, like very faint, literally 1800 words of pure fluff, silver flames, slight emerie/mor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:15:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalMassasinsXxx/pseuds/MusicalMassasinsXxx
Summary: !SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!10 years after the events of 'A court of Silver Flames' Nesta can't wait a few more days to give Cassian her anniversary present. Something she has decided would be their next greatest adventure.DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'VE READ ACOSF
Relationships: Emerie/Morrigan (ACoTaR), Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

The early spring sun filtered through the gossamer curtains onto the hardwood floor of the townhouse. It was beautiful, not nearly as breathtaking as watching the sunrise from the house of wind but on lazy days like today, with the welcome weight of my mate’s arm draped across my waist holding me close to him, it reminded me of how grateful I was to be alive. Living not just surviving. 

My best friend stirred beside me, so accustomed to waking with the sun, and mumbled a string of nonsensical words that almost sounded like ‘Good morning my love.”. I nuzzled further back into him, hoping to be completely absorbed by his hug but his hands had already started that familiar taunting over my bare thighs and trailed them up my side till he could pull the hair away from my neck so he could lean in and kiss me where I wanted him to. I let out a content sigh at this beautiful intangible thing that hanged between us, and marvelled that over time whilst the sense of urgency had decreased the want and desire still held just as strong. A few glances, or a graze of hands and I wanted him all over again, in whatever way new or old we could. The joy lay in the fact that we could and that I got to share such a precious gift with the love of my life. My mate. 

For a decade now, this truth rang in my head, and throughout all we had done, all we had endured, the joy was to call him mine. Somehow reading my thoughts and wanting to reciprocate - his hands once again trailed over my skin, gently taking as much of me in as they could, his lips obsessing over my neck. When he brushed against my breast, but not quite close enough to my nipple I knew I was in for a gloriously tortuous morning. My thoughts confirmed by his left hand falling between my legs and circling for what felt like hours around where I wanted, no - needed, him to touch. To take. Finally, allowing me reprieve he slid a single digit into my folds, causing a rather ungodly sound to erupt from my throat. I had been asked countless times over the past 10 years why I had yielded my power, how I could turn it down, but if they knew how Cassian could turn me molten at the touch of a single finger, how we burned so fiercely together even with the smallest and most simplest of touches, burned enough to once wake the palace staff of Adriata, they’d see that, that was all the power I’d needed. The power of smiling and sharing this life with the best brute, I certainly didn’t deserve.

Thinking that him finally sliding his fingers into me would end his teasing made me fool, for his strokes were just as slow, just a lazy as they had been above my skin. “Cass,” I breathed, “I need you.”; And that was enough for him to pick up his pace enough to have me panting and dripping in seconds. A small cosmic explosion occurred in my soul as I came for him, turning slightly so that he may absorb my moans with his lips. I turned fully to him as I came down from my high, and shifted so we shared the same breath, tilting my head to capture his mouth once more. “Good morning to you too.” I mumbled against his lips, our noses meeting, as did every part of our body. He dragged his left hand up to his lips and sucked on his fingers, causing my eyes to roll at his pure arrogance, trying to pretend it wasn’t affecting me nearly as much as it was. 

“How’d you sleep?” He asked, lightly stroking my waist,  
“Like a babe.” I answered while smiling up at him,  
“I could tell,” he grinned, “you snore worse than Rhys.”  
“Blame my mate, he is entirely too comfortable for me to have anything but a blissful nights sleep.” I couldn’t stop smiling.  
“You’re,” he tried to find the word, “glowing this morning.”  
“Well, it’s not just a regular day is it?” I challenged,  
“It certainly isn’t.” He remarked,  
“I can’t believe Nyx is 10,” I huffed, “It feels like just yesterday he was taking his first steps in the library.” Nesta and Cassian had been babysitting the child who had been just over 18 months, when he taken his first stumbling steps through the library,  
“Remember how Rhys and Feyre flew quicker than ever to try and catch it before he halted.” He laughed at the memory,  
“I would have been just as anxious to get back, especially because it took him so long to walk, who knew wings would make it so difficult.”  
“Even as a babe, his wings were heavy, no wonder he kept stumbling backwards whenever he tried to stand.”  
Nesta smiled at the memory of her nephew, slowly gaining more confidence in walking and playing with Cass around the house.  
“His wings,” I sighed, “he is so grateful for those wings.” I could have cried. Normal children grew up with fairytales as their bedtime stories but his parents had one of the greatest love stories of all the time, only 2nd to ours, so Nyx had grown knowing of his parents love for each other and him, but when they had told him 2 years ago, just how much his Auntie Nesta loved him, what she, what I, had sacrificed for him, he had flown straight to the house of wind despite the protest of his parents, to me and threw his arms around me, so much like how his father on that day, and told me how much he loved those wings and that he was sorry they had caused so much pain. 

Cassian stroked my cheek, again as if he was reading my mind and saw exactly what memory I was replaying. “You are my hero,” He mumbled onto my lips. “I just can’t believe it’s been a decade since that day. It was the best and worst day of my life.”  
“That’s no way to talk about your mate accepting the bond.” I teased, and glad I could, there was a time where I couldn’t have even heard that without feeling like my heart had fallen through my ribs. Cassian only responded with a, “Smartass,” before continuing to kiss me as if I was the only thing that mattered. 

I couldn’t hold it in anymore, “You know what it also means?”  
“What, what almost means?”  
“It being Nyx’s birthday,” I said, rolling my eyes once more.  
“What does it mean, my love?” He smiled wrapping his arms tightly round me releasing a rare giggle from me,  
“It means our 10 year anniversary is in a few days.”  
“10 years,” he reflected, “and you’re still not sick of me?”  
“Eh, I could do without your stinky socks.”  
“Yeah, because I’m the one who socks stink.”.  
When I’d been smiling for a long time, Cassian merely asked what was going through my head, and I decided that I did not want to wait to give him his present. To tell him what I had decided. 

“I was just thinking,” I mused, “our little cabal of friends probably miss having a baby running around.”  
Cassian huffed a laugh, not quite realising where I was going,  
“I doubt it, I don’t think I could deal with broody Rhys till a few more decades have gone past. Plus More and Emerie act plenty childish enough to keep us all amused-“ in that second I knew he had realised what I was trying to say. Again, I swore he possessed some kind of mind reading power like his brother. All those thoughts disappeared from my mind though as he let out a choked gasp, “for real, Nesta?”  
“Happy Anniversary?” Was all I could get out, nervous because I did not possess the same ability to read his mind. He just kept crying and holding me. I brushed a bit of his hair away from his eyes and cupped his cheek, “that is, if would be a gift for you, if you want to start a family.” I couldn’t help my small smile, but he kept gaping at me, waiting for me to speak more maybe? Maybe this was a mistake, maybe I’d read it wrong. I just knew he loved our nephew so fiercely and we had talked about children, had talked about the future we saw for ourselves, and thought now would be the time to start, after all we may not be so fortunate to fall pregnant as quickly as Rhys and Feyre did. So I opened my mouth once more to say, “If it wouldn’t be a gift, not yet anyways, then I certainly do not mind,” I said as I began kissing his throat, “I do not mind waiting another decade,” a kiss to his jaw, “a century,” another to his bottom lip, “or even a millennia,” a kiss to his tear stained cheeks, “I do not mind having you all to myself for the rest of my life.” My lips returning to his lips, anything to stop him trembling. 

“Nesta,” he rasped, “it would be-“ his voice broke, “it would be the greatest honour of my life to have a child with you.”. I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “It would bring me the most joy to start a family with you,” he was the one who now cupped my face, and was kissing me from my neck up to my lips, “I would be - I am so grateful for this gift.”. The tears were now falling down my face and were wiped away with the most loving thumb. “I am so grateful for you, my love.” He said,  
“You’re the light in my darkness, Cassian.” 

And if our conversation didn’t undo him, me declaring his name certainly did. He flipped us so I lay sprawled beneath his and his lips began a descent down. And down. My Chest heaving in response. Cassian had me moaning for a second time that morning as he tasted me. I was not able to hold in my groans much longer as he showed me just how grateful he was for the gift. 

When he trailed back up to my mouth and let me taste myself on his lips, he only said, “Shall we start now, Mate?”, and my breathy groan told him just what I thought. And as he took me on that sunny spring morning, like he had done often, I knew it was only the start of the next greatest adventure we would share together. My Cassian, my best friend and hopefully the soon father of my Child, our child. 

Life was truly wonderful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and Angst and more Fluff regarding their decision to try for a baby...

“Nes, come back to bed.” Cassian said. He had found me on the balcony just before dawn, wrapping his arms around my waist and as I nuzzled into him.

“I just wanted to watch the sunrise.” I said with a smile,

“It’s beautiful,” he murmured, “You’re beautiful.”

“I see, you think you can flatter me back to bed.”

“Well, if you want a baby,” he whispered, “you’re going to have to come back to bed.”

“Okay,” I smiled up at him and he made to tug her back down the steps and into the House, “but just hold me for a little longer.”

“Always.” He mumbled back.

——

We didn’t leave the bed until after midday. It turned out that this whole reproduction thing had reignited that urgency that we had had within the first year of our mating. It baffled me that Feyre and Rhys had done both at virtually the same time in amongst fighting a war and signing treatise. They were insane. We’d been greeted with food already on the desk and it was glorious watching Cassian rise from the bed to get it. The sight of his bare skin and the muscles that rippled beneath nearly had me pouncing and taking him on the floor, but I was famished.

“What are you doing the rest of today?” Cassian asked as he fed me a strawberry, lounging across the bed as I sat back against the headboard.

“I was hoping to visit Emerie,” I said around the strawberry, “She and Mor are in Windhaven this week and I said I’d help with the shop while she did some work with the female Illyrians.” The change was ongoing but Emerie’s win of The Blood Rite had made it undeniable that women were worthy of training, so she had been working alongside Cassian and Rhys to oversee some of the female units. She was still a dedicated Valkyrie though and I couldn’t quite understand how she’d been managing working with the Valkyries and Illyrians as well as maintaining a healthy marriage and running a shop.

“Fancy flying there. I need to see Devlon,” I groaned in response, “I thought you were his biggest fan.” He chucked,

“Devlon is abhorrent, and that’s coming from me, someone who was surrounded by courtiers the first 14 years of her life.”

“He’s annoying, but I do love it when you make him fear for his life.”

“I don’t think he should have such a high position if he reacted so poorly to a little threat,”

“You threatened gouge out his eyes so he could watch as you ripped the head off his body,” he laughed at the memory, I had indeed said that,

“Well, that’s what he gets for calling you ‘Good-for-nothing’.” He leaned up to press a quick kiss to my lips, but I kept him there making the kiss a little longer,

“I’m so happy I have you to protect me,” he said onto my lips, no joke in it whatsoever,

“I’ll always protect you.” my brows were now touching his,

“Our child is going to be so lucky to have a mother as fiercely loving as you.” I forced a smile at that,

“They will be lucky to have you as a father.”

——

We’d flown in silence to the Illyrian mountains. Taking in the view from above while holding onto my mate was a feeling beyond description. This Journey was one we travelled a lot, but I could never tire of the beautiful fields and shores sprawling beneath them. I couldn’t wait for when the world returned to a state of neutrality and we could just travel. Much like the War with Hybern, after everything had happened with the Queens, Prythian was taking a while to adjust. Which was fine and after everything we’d been through it was nice to rest and rebuild but the days, they could fly to other territories even other countries and explore all the world had to offer. I’d love those days. I loved that I might have my own family to experience it with.

When we landed in Windhaven, Cassian had a big smile on his face,

“What are you thinking?”

“Just about the future,” he said while holding her hand as they started to walk towards the shop,

“I was thinking about that too,”

“How we’d drop the little one of for training. Little Illyrian leathers are so sweet.” Illyrian. We were at the shop front before what he said had sunk in, “Anyway I’ll see you later.” He kissed my brow before taking off into the sky.

Our Child. He truly wanted them to be Illyrian. I mean of course there was a chance they’d be born Illyrian, I’d put precautions in place so we could have an Illyrian, but I guess I never thought that they’d be raised like one. After everything he’d suffered through. I didn’t want that for my baby. Maybe I’d missed something. Surely, he didn’t want that. The baby might not even be an Illyrian. Would he still want them to train as one though even if they didn’t have wings? Would he be sad if they didn’t have wings? Cauldron, there were too many thoughts.

It was Mor who found me near hyperventilating outside. “Nesta are you alright?”, only concern on my friend’s face,

“I think I just need some water.” I replied

“I’ll get you some, wait inside and I’ll get Emerie.”

Even though we’d decided to try for a baby a month ago, we hadn’t wanted to tell people. No point in putting stress on something that might take decades. So, explaining this one to Emerie was going to be tough. I walked into the back room of the shop and sat on the sofa. He couldn’t have meant it.

——

Mor winnowed us home later that afternoon. The thoughts hadn’t calmed over the past few hours, not being able to voice them actually made it slightly worse. Emerie hadn’t pushed any further when I explained that I had a small headache and she just started telling me about all she had been doing. I missed spending so much time with her and Gwyn. I got to see Gwyn quite frequently and I’d started helping her with her work for Merril, but it’d been too long since we’d had a girl’s night.

Cassian and I sat down to eat dinner and halfway through the meal I couldn’t hold in my thoughts anymore. And I prayed that I’d misunderstood something.

“What did you mean when you said, Little Illyrian leathers?”

“What do you mean, Nes?”

“You want the child to be Illyrian.” I was looking at him, but he was still looking at his damned food,

“Of course.”

I couldn’t speak, I was no way putting my child in that amount of danger. And he was fine with it. Absolutely fine.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, I must have been silent for too long because he was now looking at me,

“Yes, there is. You want our child to be an Illyrian?”

“Yes.”

“What the people who beat children to a pulp for just trying to survive.”

“Nes…”

“No! Do not ‘Nes’ me. I know it’s your heritage and you want to share that culture, but you would truly put them in that much danger? What if they’re born without wings? Would you still put them through it all?”

“If it will make them strong, so they can survive anything, then yes.” We hadn’t argued for a while, I think the last time was a few months ago and he’d bought Feyre a ridiculously inappropriate gift. But this, this was going to be another level.

“I can’t believe this; I’m not going to sit here and listen to you talking about abandoning our child to fend for themselves.” The wrong words. It struck him deep. “Cass…” I tried to apologise,

“No.” he’d never spoken to me with that lethal calm, “I will never abandon our child.”

“Cass, I spoke in anger, I did not think-”

“Yes, you didn’t think.”

Silence.

“I’m… I’m,” I tried to start, “I’m just not comfortable with putting them in that much danger.”

“For Fucks sake Nes, it’s not that bad.”

“Children die in those camps, Cassian!” She knew it was a low blow using his name like that but, “And don’t even get me started on what they do to females.”

“Nes...”

“What?” I demanded

“If we had a girl, you’d want them to be Valkyrie, wouldn’t you?” I didn’t know, what if she was born Illyrian and wanted to train as one, what if they didn’t want to fight at all,

“I don’t know,” I answered, “but it’s a far better alternative than them receiving lashings for doing nothing wrong.”

‘Come on, I already told you - “

“No. Why do you want this? You hated growing up there.”

“Because as much as despise them, it’s a part of who I am. I can’t lose that.”

“Do not talk to be as if I do not know what it’s like to lose a part of yourself.”

“Then try to show a little understanding.”

“I’m trying to Cass, but I can’t get over how fine you are with this.”

“Our child will be fine.”

“Can you promise that?”

“What?”

“Can you promise that they will never be hit, never be whipped, never have to sleep in the cold.” He wasn’t answering, “Can you promise that our baby girl will not have her wings clipped or that they won’t die in that damned Blood Rite.”

“I cannot.” He said, barely a whisper. I couldn’t stand it. I stood from the table,

“Nesta, where are you going?” I didn’t answer as I opened the door, slammed it shut and ran down the stairs.

——

It was raining. How fitting. The steps over the past decade had become easier and so had running. And I was so grateful for the strength in my legs as I made my way to River house. Feyre seemed to always have the answers.

She opened the door to see myself drenched. Tears streaming down my face, that I wasn’t aware had been falling. She just opened up her arms and I ran into her embrace. She pulled away then led me into the dry foyer. Somewhere along the way getting a clean jumper she’d warmed and drying my skin with her magic.

“Go and change, I’ll make hot chocolate.”

“Thank you.” I said through my blubbering mouth,

“Thankfully Lyla and Nyx went to sleep early, otherwise I might not have been able to be so accommodating.”

After changing I met Feyre in the lounge area. Elain was there too. Good. I needed both of them. They were talking among themselves and didn’t stop as I sat in one of the plush chairs, gathering my thoughts. They were talking about some little shop that had just opened up that served the best Coffee apparently. When the conversation fizzled, they looked at me,

“We’re guessing this has something to do with why Cassian asked Rhys and Az to go drinking tonight.” Feyre said, “What happened?” I blew out a long breath,

“Cassian and I are trying for a baby.”

“Nes, that’s wonderful!” Elain said,

“But” I interrupted, “Cassian wants to raise them Illyrian.”

“Oh.” Elain said back, and my sisters just waited for me to continue,

“It became this big argument, and I said some things I shouldn’t have said but he was so insistent to send our hypothetical children to that awful place.” I sighed, “Look, I know it’s important to him, but I couldn’t look beyond all the stories he’d told me, about how they treat their children, what they do to females. It just made me sick. Sorry Feyre, I know Nyx is Illyrian.”

“You have nothing to apologise for. Rhys and I had this argument over and over again.”

“You did?”

“Yes. I hated the thought of sending Nyx into those camps, and it still takes everything in me to not murder anyone who has laid a hand on my boy. And Rhys didn’t want to send him either but felt that he owed it to his mother.”

“Then why did you let him go?”

“Because it was Nyx’s choice. He knew exactly what it was going to be like, but he decided that he wanted to try.” Feyre said, “He believed that to deserve those wings he loves so much, he should at least know where they came from.”

“But our child might not even be Illyrian, Cassian hasn’t even entertained that possibility.”

“Would you want to raise them Valkyrie?” Elain asked,

“The Valkyries are a female only unit, if we had a son, he could learn the ways but-” I remembered mind stilling and tried to take in some deep breaths, “There’s just so much to think about. Will they have wings? Will Cassian be sad if they don’t? Are they going to clip my baby girls wings when we’re not looking? I’m already scared to death about raising a person, I do not want to add brutal training into the mix.” There it was the real fear that had been harbouring below the surface. I wasn’t going to be a good mother. Why should I believe I would be?

“There are lots of possibilities,” Feyre said, “They could be High fae, Illyrian, a half breed. But the most important part is you let them choose what defines them. Imagine you have a little girl with wings, she might want to be Valkyrie and she’ll learn Illyrian ways throughout her life. Or say you have a boy who doesn’t have wings but wants to learn to fight. You’ll figure it out Nesta, you always do.” I wanted to cry at my sister’s words,

“There isn’t even a baby to worry about just yet,” I said

“If it makes you feel any better,” Elain chimed in, “Azriel would agree with you, he doesn’t want our children to be raised Illyrian.”

“You’ve already spoken of it?”

“Yes, we agreed a while ago.”

“Even if your child is Illyrian?” Feyre asked,

“We’ve actually decided that when the time is right, we’d like to adopt.”

“Elain that’s beautiful.” I said in awe,

“There are a few orphanages around Prythian and obviously the one in Velaris. We just felt that it was right.” 

“I’m so happy for you.” Feyre said,

“Thank you,” Elain said back, “but what I’m trying to say is that your worries are not irrational.”

“I know that, but why can’t Cassian see that.”

“It’s all he knows.” Feyre said,

“I just miss him,” I said, “We’ve never really argued like this, not for a long, long time.”

“What do you want, Nesta?” Elain asked,

“I want to have children who know what it’s like to be loved their whole lives.”

“Nes, you said you were scared about raising a child,” Elain said, “Would that have anything to do with mother?”

“Of course, it does,” as we’d gotten closer this past decade, we’d spent countless evenings talking about our parents and our family. We’d laughed and cried, and I was so happy we’d talked, there had been so many things that we hadn’t said to each other, so many explanations and apologies had surfaced in those evenings, and we were stronger for it. “Mother never showed us how to be a mother, just stuck us with our nannies and only took an interest when we could be married off. And it’s not like I have any nurturing instinct.”

“Does Cassian know this is how you feel?”

“No,”

“I think you need to let him know.” Feyre said

“Thank you,” I said, standing from my seat and embraced them both, “What would I do without you.” I tried not to let the tears fall,

“Go and see your mate, sister.” Feyre said.

So, I walked out of the lounge and across the foyer but before I could get to the door, my Cassian walked through, the same sadness that I had in my eyes were reflected in his. I couldn’t stand for much longer, but it didn’t matter as he crashed into me gathering me into his arms. He held me to him and we both cried into each other’s shoulders.

“I hate fighting,” he mumbled,

“Me too.” His scent washed over me, and I sighed into his touch. The fight was necessary but nothing we couldn’t get past.

“I’m sorry,” he said, he pulled away to look at me, “I should have tried to see it from your point of view.”

“I should have seen it from yours.”

“We don’t need to follow traditions; we can make up our own rules about our family.”

“I like the sound of that,” I said as I sniffled back the tears. I knew that the rest of our family had occupied another part of the house so we could have some privacy, “I’m just so worried that I’m going to mess up.”

“I’m worried too,” he said, “but I love you - “

“and I love you too,” there was a lot to talk through, but it didn’t seem so scary anymore, “Whatever happens, we can face it,”

“Together.” He promised,

“Always, together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was so angsty but I just had this image in my head of Nesta ranting about Cassian to her. and sisters and the of course their cute little make up. 
> 
> Anyway... hope you guys like it! 
> 
> I think this fic is just where I'm gonna post one shots around this scenario of '10 years later'.
> 
> Cool, love you all! Stay safe and happy reading.

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing this so much. Silver flames was such a great book for me and I'm so excited to see more of these characters. 
> 
> I am so tempted to turn this into a multi-fic with different chapters being little fluffy scenes that happen 10 years after ACOSF. Let me know what you think :) 
> 
> Anyway.... Thank you so much for reading :) I hoped you like it.


End file.
